And when it's definitely not a good idea—ever. The appeal is obvious: You two already know each other, and it's easy to slide back into the sexual rhythm you used to enjoy.
It happens, sure, but the odds are against you. But if you're sure you don't have an ulterior motive, is it okay to booty call your ex for a casual hookup?
Why is hooking up with someone you broke up with or who broke your heart even the slightest bit appealing? For some couples, the relationship fundamentally didn't work—yet sex was still passionate.
Your ex more than likely knows how best to get you off, and you don't have to deal with that first-time awkwardness that's inevitable when you hook up with someone new. New York-based sex therapist Sari Cooper, founder and director of the Center for Love and Sexagrees that timing has a lot to do with it. Chat about your expectations. At the same time, you also need to have an honest conversation with yourself about your MO.
Let the past go. Certain subjects can touch a nerve, and the awkwardness and pain that might follow aren't worth the momentary bliss of an orgasm. Forget about post-sex snuggling. Cuddling can send the wrong message, says Needle, or cause one or both of you to feel an emotional attachment again.
Spooning, hand-holding, and even meaningful eye gazing after sex with your ex could lead to confusion or hurt. Fall asleep once the action is over, or take off and sleep in your own bed. Refrain from drunk dialing.
Doing couply things with your ex like you used to—staying home watching Netflix, or agreeing to attend a work or family function together—will make it hard to not second guess your feelings.
Because it's so hard to be sure about your feelings, some experts advise never having sex with an ex ever.
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How to deal with your man and his 'ex' life
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