And we both really stink at playing God.
After 17 years of marriage, we started attending an ongoing Bible study group to guard our hearts because we knew how fleshly they can be. After arriving home from class with clenched teeth, I quickly tucked our kids in and then shut our bedroom door behind us for our heated disagreement.
Living with four intuitive kids who sense disharmony by any tone alteration nipped that. We have also learned voice-raising exacerbates whatever issue we are disagreeing over. But here we were, acting human.
Get Spirit-filled content delivered right to your inbox! Click here to subscribe to our newsletter. How in our marriage class he spent 20 minutes explaining a fake argument we never had because he felt like someone needed to break the ice since everyone was a little too quiet—a charade that embarrassed me. Not feeling loved, I chose—in a very mature way—to sleep on the couch that night.
When I woke at 4: Still unsettled about the whole thing, I needed a source of reason, a tidbit of truth to know I was in the right. I am convinced our hearts are not healthy until they have been satisfied by the only completely healthy love that exists: Had the kids heard, Mom most certainly would have taken drops of vinegar on the tongue.
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But I knew what was happening. As soon as I attempted to shut my journal, the well-worn binding flopped open to the back page on which I had written one of my favorite sayings: Geez, I was getting a real beating—a long overdue heart check and a mini personalized Bible study the Lord tailored just for me.
It took a whole day of discussions with Jason for me to swallow my pride and fully surrender my hurt feelings.
God probably wants me to pay attention. All I had to do was surrender and respect his opinion? To be listened to and understood?
Like letting our dumb actions fall away with the erasing of our recorded wrongdoing. Dabney Hedegard is a writer, speaker, and professional patient.
She lives in South Florida with her husband and four children. She also blogs at dabneyland.
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