Nothing new about being told off, as even liberal Berlin, to which I recently moved, is full of baffling rules.
For the Germans, this is as normal as a trip to the supermarket. They are also mixed-sex, and no bathing suits are allowed.
A nude mixed sauna is a shocking proposition to an Anglo-American like me. It is also an intriguing one. The pictures online showed a smart, spa-like space of minimalist wood, turquoise tiles and people in luxuriant robes.
I assumed this would be a soft introduction to bare-cheeked baking. I had expected at least the people in reception to be wearing clothes.
Instead, standing at the desk is a woman wrapped only in a small white towel. I can see the bottoms of two men, 3ft away from me, in the apparently, shockingly, mixed changing room.
My heart speeds up. I walk out fast. The towel lady gives me a key as a good-looking clothed man is putting on his shoes. I take my key and towel into the changing room, praying for it to be empty.
So I undress, blushing furiously, and cower by a locker. A woman comes in and starts pulling on her bra and adjusting her breasts, relaxed as anything.
I grab my towel and pad into the shower area, taking my place between two men. I dare myself to face outwards, so that my whole front is visible to the room.
The men seem to turn away from me. I find a woman and ask. I head back in and face down my dangling tormentors. The owner of one of them budges up for me and I settle on a square of bench.
The problem of leery old loners using mixed saunas to gawp, however, genuinely seems absent. I do not hunch or try to cover anything, or to appear thinner. And begin to sweat. It feels strangely great. As per tradition, the saunameister Naked shower massage stories in on the hour and pours cedar and mint onto the coals, then begins fanning the air. A plate of orange slices is passed around, and I feel at one with my new naked pals.
Afterwards, we head outside and lie naked in the winter air, our skin steaming, in silence. A gaunt and expressionless man takes a cold shower. It is shocking yet, now, somehow unremarkable. Until recently, the idea of sweating it out in a row of naked Naked shower massage stories seemed impossibly weird. The hip, friendly clientele, dim lighting and pleasant courtyard make this Finnish sauna the stylish spot to go starkers.
Thursday is ladies only. Small, low-tech, but popular with well-heeled locals. It has a garden courtyard.
These public baths have a cosy sauna, steam room and plunge pool. More men than women, but single-sex changing rooms. Open until 1am on Fridays and Saturdays, this showy spa offers a Himalayan salt sauna, fruit-flavoured steam and honey massages. An eccentric spa that puts on flamenco concerts, and has a bar and restaurant. An Amayana spa with it all — pools, steam rooms, saunas, tanning rooms, as well as an outdoor pool, which the hardy can try in winter.
Popular with the oldies. Berlin My naked sauna in Berlin In Berlin, the saunas are nude — and Naked shower massage stories.
Will Zoe Strimpel dare to bare all in front of the boys? I walk out fast The towel lady gives me a key as a good-looking clothed man is putting on his shoes. Six of the best: The best open-air cinemas around the world Enjoy the silver screen in the great outdoors, Alicia Burrell picks the top five.
Here's a collection of funny and embarrassing Thai massage stories. to undress and put on plastic shower caps (how sexy) and these itty bitty.
shower sex video clips from Nuru Massage. The best shower XXX Sexy brunette masseuse takes shower and teases dude in massage parlor.